Psalm 84:12

nursing school has allowed me to believe that i am adapted to *somewhat* handle any medical situation that arises until more advanced help arrives. and that may be true in some cases; however, that is NOT true when it is your fiance' who is doubled over the sink in pain.

joe had to work a 14 hour shift today (tuesday) because of the snow, so i did not see him at all until he showed up at my door at 1130 begging for something to make his pain go away. when he called and told me he was coming i was thinking that he would just get the medicine and leave, but when i opened the door i knew that he wouldn't be leaving for a while. his face was white and he could hardly talk to me. so i set out in my over dramatic panic trying to decide what to do. he attributed his pain to heartburn and indigestion, but when someone tells me they are having pain in their chest i am not taking that lightly. so i gave him some tums, some alka seltzer... whatever i could find in my cabinet to help him. in the meantime i was asking my roommate for advice, texting my best friend all the symptoms, and praying nonstop. 

at this point every nursing instinct i had was out the door. i felt so lost. joe was bent over my sink cringing in pain and i couldn't do anything about it. what kind of nurse am i if i can't even take care of some simple pain? judge all you want, but he was scarin' me. 

30 minutes passed and there was no signs of improvement. he was still breathing hard and he was holding his chest tightly while i was frantically running around. i had a quick nursing instinct to take his blood pressure, so that's what i did. a little elevated, but nothing to be too worried about. i made him sit down at the table and drink some water while asking the best nursing questions i knew how. it is amazing how fast you can react to a patient who you just met in the hospital.. but caring for someone you love who is in pain? that is a whole different story. so here we are, sitting at the kitchen table... he is bent over trying to breathe through the pain and i'm asking him questions to fight back the tears. i felt so helpless in this moment. he kept insisting that he would be okay but i wasn't buying it. 

i should have mentioned that he had just gotten off work at 9pm and he has to be back at work at 4am. so he really needed to be in bed, asleep at this point. 

after 45 minutes of pep talking and trying to decide whether to go to the ED or not.. he insisted that he go home and go to bed. so i packed him a goody bag of tums and alka seltzers and sent him on his way. 

when he got home he so sweetly thanked me and said goodnight, then sent me a text that said "psalm 84:12". 

of course i looked it up and in that moment i felt so much peace. 

psalm 84:12 says, "Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you." (NIV)

this was just another lesson that taught me that i need not worry about any situation that is thrown my way. god is going to send us trials that we may not know how to solve, but in those trials i believe that he is also trying to teach us to have a solid foundation of trust in him. 

so, here i sit at almost 1 in the morning just staring at my phone and wanting to be awake in case joe were to need me and i am spending precious time with god. i should be studying for my test tomorrow, but right now this quiet time is helping me clear my mind. i am constantly reminded that our savior has an everlasting love for us. no matter the situation, no matter the lack of trust; he loves us through and through. but knowing that different blessings comes from trust in god makes me long to have a stronger trust in him. 

the next time you find yourself in a situation that has you in a tizzy remind yourself that you are a child of the king. he has his hands around you and he is protecting you. 

remember these bible verses: 

joshua 1:9

psalm 13:5

psalm 31:14

psalm 56:3

and definitely, psalm 84:12. 

god is so so good, and i know he has a hand of protection on us. 

if you get a second today, remember joe in your prayers. i know he will be tired at work and i'm sure he won't be feeling very well. 

also remember that god loves you, no matter what. 

have a blessed day my pretties!

C